Sikandar

Salman Khan can barely rouse himself to act anymore. Every director since Kabir Khan in Bajrangi Bhaijaan has had to work around the actor’s limitations, to coax brief flickers of star quality and hope the rest isn’t egregious. It can’t be easy for Khan’s fans to see him this way, complacent, over the hill, indulged and lied to. The paragraph you just read applies to Sikandar but wasn’t written with it in mind. Instead, I’ve taken a line each from my reviews of his last three solo releases: Radhe, Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan andTiger 3. You might say that’s lazy and unprofessional, but if Salman won’t make any effort, why should I? There’s only so many ways to say: it’s over, move on, stop embarrassing yourself. Sikandar begins with Sanjay Rajkot (Khan) thrashing a Mumbai politician’s son, whom he catches harassing a woman on a flight. We then learn that Sanjay and his wife, Saisri (Rashmika Mandanna), are the Rajkot royal family, philanthropic, benevolent and much loved by their people (the film is strangely nostalgic for ruler-subject relations). Sanjay—also called Sikandar, after Alexander the Great—has a trained militia on standby but never seems to need them, singlehandedly decimating goons sent on the orders of the aggrieved minister (Sathyaraj).

A SALMAN KHAN FILM has come to mean certain things: it arrives on Eid, it abstains from intimacy, it extends the actor’s legacy of goodwill, it insists on pairing him opposite someone at least two decades younger, and resists making any demands of acting from Khan. In the last couple of years, there have been multiple renderings of this formulaic outline (Bodyguard, 2011; Radhe, 2021); a doubling down on this blueprint with Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan (2023) whilst also sneaking in another rule: he will not try anymore, pushing the bar to the floor. The upshot of this is that a Salman Khan film can no longer disappoint, it can only impress. The sole way to go is up. As a result, the audience is conditioned to expect nothing and believe everything. Khan wore a jacket mid-air in Kisi Ka Bhai and lip-synced leisurely in Tiger 3 (freely skipping most words). His reluctance to strive is so deep that even an ounce of effort on his part draws cheer. He moves his body and you commend his flexibility. He cries in a scene and you compare him to Robert De Niro. Watching a Salman Khan film today has come to resemble an act of parental bias as if he were an irate child and the rest of us exist to humour him.

Sikandar, directed by A.R. Murugadoss, known for films like Ghajini, makes an honest effort with the story, but the execution doesn’t match up to its potential. The film essentially follows a good-natured man who aims to live up to his dead wife’s expectations and keep what is left of her safe. The makers take an emotional, very Bollywood masala approach with its story, but it still could have been enjoyable without the flimsy editing and screenplay. The film begins with Raja Sahab’s aka Sanjay aka Sikandar introduction through the film’s minor villain. When a politician’s son is blackmailing and harassing a girl on a flight, Snjay takes it upon himself to teach the kid a lesson. However, when a complaint is filed against him, the politician and his corrupt officer, Sanjay’s beloved praja, saves him from arrest. Rashmika Mandana is his fairly young and devoted wife. Indebted by his selfless act to marry her, he takes it upon herself to always be the one between him and any danger. After some goons are sent behind Sanjay, in an accident, Saisri passes away.

Given Hindi cinema’s twin obsession with nepotism and nationalism, it’s hard not to be nostalgic about a dopey Salman Khan movie. The badness of a family entertainer like Sikandar is harmless, vintage, candid, pure almost. It has no ulterior motive, no genre, no affiliations; it’s a festival release, but the festival may as well be a Salman Khan release. It’s just there: a 150-minute montage of intro shots and ad slogans parading as punchlines. In other words, Sikandar is a dying breed of Bollywood vice. I’ve kind of missed it. The brain melts, but at least the spirit stays intact. It’s so critic-proof that I’m heaving a sigh of relief as I write this — there’s no prospect of offending anyone because nobody cares. Happy days. Both its villains are bald, so hair propaganda is the closest it comes to taking a stand. The closest it comes to being political is Khan playing a Rajkot resident who (occasionally) speaks Gujarati, a language that gives him a direct line to New Delhi. The closest it comes to meta referencing is when this godly hero delivers its actor’s thoughts while punishing an errant minister: “I don’t know about PM or CM, I can easily be an MLA or MP, but I’m not interested. Don’t force me to be interested”. It’s so strong on fan service that when Khan breaks the fourth wall during an action sequence, he doesn’t look at the camera; the camera looks at him. It even reverses the anxiety around modern technology: the acting all around is so robotic that AI would in fact humanise it.

एक हीरो-दिल का सच्चा, कर्मों का अच्छा, हर किसी की मदद करने वाला, निर्बलों का रखवाला, बड़े दिलवाला। एक विलेन-ताकतवर मंत्री, पैसे वाला, कानून को जेब में रखने वाला, पुलिस को इशारों पर नचाने वाला, गुंडों को पालने वाला। इन दोनों में किसी तरह से दुश्मनी हो जाए तो क्या ज़बर्दस्त एक्शन देखने को मिलेगा न…! वाह-वाह बहुत बढ़िया, लेकिन कैसे कराओगे इनकी दुश्मनी? वह सब आप हम पर छोड़ दीजिए भाई जान, हमारे स्क्रिप्ट राइटर जान लगा देंगे। कहानी में चाहे कोई लॉजिक न डालें, किरदारों में चाहे कोई दम न डालें, फिल्म में एंटरटेनमैंट के नाम पर भले ही फलूदा डालना पड़े, पब्लिक चाहे अपनी छाती के बाल नोच ले लेकिन पर्दे पर होगा तो सिर्फ-तेरा ही जलवा, जलवा, जलवा…! यह हिन्दी सिनेमा का दुर्भाग्य है कि यहां के अधिकांश बड़े सितारे या तो देसी-विदेशी फिल्मों के रीमेक में काम कर रहे हैं या फिर दक्षिण भारतीय निर्देशकों की इडली-डोसा स्टाइल में बनाई ऐसी फिल्मों में जिनमें कथ्य से ज़्यादा ज़ोर स्टाइल पर रहता है। फिल्म वालों ने दशकों पहले जिन बेसिर-पैर की एक्शन फिल्मों की अफीम चटा-चटा कर हिन्दी के दर्शकों की बुद्धि खराब की थी, अब फिर से वही सब परोस कर इन्हें मूर्ख बनाया जा रहा है और अफसोस इस बात पर ज़्यादा किया जाना चाहिए कि आज के दर्शक भी हंसी-खुशी मूर्ख बन रहे हैं। ‘सिकंदर’ (Sikandar) भी यही करने आई है। जाइए, देखिए, बनिए, हमें क्या…!