Mastiii 4

As someone in her 30s, I have a lot of worries: ageing parents, climate change, whimsical world leaders and the growing cost of living. But late at night, when struggling to sleep, one thought plagues me the most: how is Milap Zaveri still making films? This isn’t a personal affront, at least no more than what his films unleash on us. But really, lesser filmmakers have dwindled into oblivion and here’s Zaveri with two films in one year, and while one seemed like the worst, the other has somehow surpassed it.

It’s only noon and I’ve already had three showers today. Under normal circumstances, I’d say it’s because I had to step out in the morning and Mumbai’s AQI is beyond redemption. Under normal circumstances, that’s a perfectly valid reason. But these are extraordinary circumstances. I stepped out to watch a morning show of Mastiii 4, a cinematic pollutant so noxious that I’ve been frantically trying to wash off its fumes after reaching home. Say what you may about a Milap Zaveri film, but it works wonders for my personal hygiene.