Rahul Desai

Detective Sherdil is a remarkably annoying film. It’s the kind of over-the-top detective drama that tries to be playful, weird and campy to conceal its alarming lack of substance. It’s a whodunnit that leaves the viewer wondering who the film-makers are, not who the killer is. Even as a Knives Out-coded murder mystery (a line in Sherdil’s intro rap goes “Sherlock and Bakshi could never compare!”), it makes a mockery of the format. The supersleuth spends the last 30 minutes explaining the entire plot to us under the guise of revealing his findings to the killer(s). Except it never sounds like he’s decoded the case; he just magically knows everything. There is barely any sense of how he figures it out — he just did, down to the finest detail of what every character was thinking. The film buries this lazy writing beneath a deafening background score and some of the most disorienting comic-book-style editing in recent memory. The transitions are so unserious that it’s hard to tell which shot a character is in.

The nostalgia of Aamir Khan is hard to resist. He’s a one-man publicity machine. He resists streaming models. He bats for the theatrical experience. He is open about his failures and flaws. In an age of jingoistic fervour, bloated superstar spectacles and franchise cashgrabs, he produces and acts in a modest sports dramedy about a wayward basketball coach training a team of neurodivergent players (played, for once, by neurodivergent performers) for a national tournament. There’s no meta hero-entry shot; it’s just his character, Gulshan, matter-of-factly parking his car outside a stadium. He plays an unlikable man who isn’t afraid to look ordinary. In an industry ripe with hypermasculinity and vanity, he pokes fun at his own height and physicality — Gulshan is trolled as a “tingu” (shorty), even by his mom. He leads an old-fashioned remake full of newcomers and youngsters. And he’s an underdog after being ahead of the curve for years.

Grief is too absolute an entity in cinema. Like joy, disappointment and love, it’s often treated as a ‘phase’ in a story: a striking part of a whole. It is seen and staged, either as a brooding montage or an atmospheric song or a transformative conflict or a sullen flashback about a character’s retreat from civilisation (think mainstream movies like Jab We Met). But grief — or its more familiar version, heartbreak — is actually a part of a hole. The pain is abstract, undefined, still, and often, violently simple. In Subhadra Mahajan’s Second Chance, this simplicity is laid bare. It’s not a time in life but life itself. It’s not a phase in a story but storytelling itself.

CELINE SONG’S Materialists opens in a cave. In a past life, perhaps. A caveman offers a ring made of flowers to a cavewoman; she is moved by his proposal. All they need is love — and a tiny material consummation of it. It’s a sweet and wordless sequence. The film instantly switches to the high-tempo Manhattan life of 35-year-old matchmaker Lucy (Dakota Johnson). She is a master at “dating math”: ticking boxes, reducing surnames to alphabets, catering to clients’ dreams, perpetuating the dehumanisation of modern dating. The abrupt cut from the past to the present — or the present to the future — reveals both evolution and the erasure of it. Back then, it was a symbol. Now it’s a status symbol. It’s a swift but suggestive transition. Somewhere along the way, capitalism in the age of love slowly repositioned itself as love in the age of capitalism.

A spin-off in the John Wick universe, Ballerina stars Ana de Armas as Eve, a young orphan trained by the Ruska Roma — the crime organisation famous for creating Keanu Reeves’ Wick — to be a ballerina-assassin. She is taught to weaponise her intuition and “fight like a girl” instead of trying to defeat men at their own game. She graduates the programme and starts work as a cold-blooded contract killer. But just as she sets out to become the next big Ruska Roma legend, she is overcome by an urge to avenge the murder of her father. All the trauma comes back to her when she identifies an opponent bearing the symbol of the Cult, the outfit responsible for the death of her parents all those years ago. Her ‘mission’ changes.

A whole lot of nothing happens in Season 2 of Rana Naidu, the Indian adaptation of Ray Donovan. The first season (2023) was populist and provocative for the heck of it, what with its look-maa-sex-gore-expletives rhythms. But at least it was a world-building phase, where fan service prevailed (the casting coup of a star uncle-nephew duo) and viewers could be introduced to the concept of a badass Hyderabadi “fixer” in Mumbai, his daddy issues, and the endless struggle to fix his own family. It was like watching a celebrity gossip column posing as an OTT-template action thriller. A slog, but a new one.

I’ve chuckled a grand total of two times across five instalments of the Housefull franchise. It says something that, in both instances, the gag involved an animal (not the film). No humans were harmed in the making. The snoring crocodile from Housefull 2 (2012) broke through my defences. I have a fondness for crocodiles (on screen), so to hear one snore in his post-lunch sleep was a dream come true I never knew I needed. In Housefull 5, it’s a parrot named Gucci that attacks a man who killed said parrot’s dad in one of the previous films — all of this scored to the Om Shanti Om soundtrack, lest we assume that only human characters are allowed to have reincarnation revenge tracks. Two men team up to bodyslam Gucci and pin him down to the count of three like a wrestler. I might have also grinned when Akshay Kumar smashes his fingers and Jackie Shroff gives him a guitar to make music out of those quivering fingers. It’s an inspired piece of inanity in a Bollywood franchise that feasts on the lowest hanging fruits.

Stolen tells an NH10-coded story of two city-slicking brothers who — in trying to aid a police investigation of a stolen baby from a rural railway station — get sucked into a heartland nightmare. A drowsy Gautam (Abhishek Banerjee) waits in his black SUV to pick up his younger sibling, Raman (Shubham Vardhan), whose train arrives late. Before they exit the platform, they bump into Jhumpa Mahato (Mia Maelzer), a distraught young mother who accuses Raman of abducting her toddler while she was asleep. The cops get involved; the confusion comes to light. Much to Gautam’s chagrin, Raman is consumed by an urge to help the woman. But they pay the price for being human. Things spiral quickly in a search that features a cursed manor, rehab center, angry mobs, baby-snatching gangs and illegal surrogacy rackets. The brothers find themselves trapped in a dark survival thriller. The question that emerges, however, is troubling: whose survival?