Bharathi Pradhan

In the throes of death, Don Patel (Aamir Khan) of Goa has a hilarious end with maid Sakhubai also breathing her last, discussing mopping, cleaning and unwashed utensils. Two British agents take back with them Sakhubai’s infant and bring him up as Happy (Vir Das), the wiz chef who makes the yummiest sandwiches in the world. In Goa, the don’s daughter Mama (Mona Singh), his evil inheritor, is a super chef too. Her special cutlets (poisoned for victims) and her good work cutlets (a reward for her boys), ready to be served. Mama’s also in the fairness and beauty business, a little jibe at Indian prejudice against dark skin. IMUMI is a brand – it’s a giggle. There are intercuts with the eternally charming Sanjeev Kapoor and his ‘salt to taste’ tip, all quite wacky.

Clueless Sir Cyril Radcliffe calmly cut his steak on the flight out of India, leaving behind a nation he’d just carved into two. Louis Mounbatten (Luke McGibney) became India’s first Governor-General, content that the Partition had happened without spilling a drop of British blood. But what about Indian blood, his wife countered. Jinnah (Arif Zakaria) crowned himself Qaed-e-Azam, tore himself from beloved Bombay to settle down in Karachi, hid his illness which, if made public, may not have led to a new Muslim country, and ego-butted Mountbatten as his equal in rank. With sister Fatima (Ira Dubey) as his ally all the way.

It’s a fine story to tell. Of youthful enthusiasm, courage, martyrdom, nostalgia and emotions that rule on both sides of the border. It’s also heart-tugging to watch Dharmendra in his last celluloid appearance in a role tailormade for the son-of-the-soil. When he, as long retired Brigadier Madan Lal Khetarpal, sentimentally revisits Sargodha and his family home in Pakistan before the Partition, it is entirely believable. Add to it his recital of a self-penned poem on the draw of his pind (village) and it’s only Dharmendra who could have given such authenticity to the Punjabi with nostalgia flowing unfettered out of him.

The title is a put-off, sounding like a stuck record. When it takes off with the glossy visuals expected from Dharma Productions, the scene’s set for fun, flirting, a helping of calibrated humour. But back-to-back songs in Croatia, shot like a travelogue, begin to discomfortingly resemble a tourist pamphlet. The he’s-so-annoying hero who has the heroine’s lips curled with irritation, is so textbook Hum Tum (2004) that ho-ho, how funny, slips into ho-hum, how silly.

A body is staged leisurely before the murderer vanishes. It’s déjà vu for Mumbai’s Commissioner of Police Arun Khatri (Priyanshu Chatterjee) who dials the central jail in Hyderabad. Mrs. Seema Deshpande (Madhuri Dixit), the serial killer he had imprisoned twenty-five years ago, is still behind bars. Who’s the copycat killer who has patterned himself/herself on Mrs. Deshpande’s modus operandi?

At over three hours, it is certainly the longest edition so far. And, as James Cameron watchers would expect from the writer-director, the scale of the new Na’vi adventure is visually stunning. In the fight between the water people (in tune with Nature) and the air people (expansionist humans), a new fire people enter the fray. In short, all the elements in different avatars. The fire people are grotesque and non-believing to boot. Nature has to win.

Ready with a repartee and quick-witted as the host of a comedy show, Kapil Sharma’s image pulls it off. When Mohan/Mehmood/Michael (Kapil Sharma) marries Meera (Tridha Choudhury), Ruhi (Ayesha Khan) and Jenny (Parul Gulati) though his heart ticks only for Saniya (Hira Warina), he must think on his feet to glib talk his way out of situations. Writer-director Anukalp Goswami ensures that the fun never stops.

There are two flaws that straightaway dog writer-director Aditya Dhar’s spy adventure. One, the intent may have been to use the first part of the two-instalment film to set up what happened before New India woke up to counter its belligerently violent neighbour. However, the focus is so much on building an elaborate scene of the gang wars and politics of Pakistan that nobody out here would connect with it. Honestly, who cares who’s in power and who’s murdering whom in the neighbouring country? Two, the disconnect is heightened with Dhar’s failure to make it a thrilling watch. At over 3.5 hours, it is laborious, unexciting storytelling.